Goodiebox - December ♡

 

 

Bedroom Details ♡ Drew some kittens for the wall 

 

Morten and I went for a drive today - got hot chocolate and coffee ♡

 

Morten and I got our Sunday Advent gifts from his parents today, so we could put them under the tree as well and open them accordingly. I got this mascara and brow brush, which I really wanted, so that was perfect. Morten got hair products. We also got some more Christmas decorations up ♡

 

Got the Christmas tree up today ♡

Today was really productive. I cleaned the entire apartment and did all my laundry including the bedding. Showered and had all my meals. I sort of can't wait to climb into bed yet also I hate it. I have to spend 2 hours shaking everything in bed and even then it will still itch when I get in. I used a lot (about 300) of wet wipes on my face and hands today so my skin feels raw and that will itch - triggering my OCD to make it itch more. But hey, at least my home looks pretty  

 

Going to just relax for the rest of today and read GoT. Almost finished with this one. My mentor was here today and it has drained me of all energy. We opened my terrace door for about 5 minutes till a leaf blew in and I had a complete meltdown. I see this as a failure but she said that it is a huge win, because no matter what I still opened the door. I guess she is somewhat right. We also talked about me figuring out who I am without OCD so it doesn't become me and me it. I struggle to see a way out of this hell and to see my life get any better. Morten said the same thing the other day. He doesn't believe I will ever recover and be able to have a normal life again. Honestly, I struggle to remember what life was really like before OCD. It has just taken over every aspect of my life. I also talked to my mentor about my suicidal thoughts and she asked me to make a list every week of reasons to live - I HAVE to come up with at least 3 every week. 

 

 

Healthy breakfast ♡ Waiting for Morten to come by with packages and groceries 

Goodiebox - April