Thursday, 24 September 2015


Going to just relax for the rest of today and read GoT. Almost finished with this one. My mentor was here today and it has drained me of all energy. We opened my terrace door for about 5 minutes till a leaf blew in and I had a complete meltdown. I see this as a failure but she said that it is a huge win, because no matter what I still opened the door. I guess she is somewhat right. We also talked about me figuring out who I am without OCD so it doesn't become me and me it. I struggle to see a way out of this hell and to see my life get any better. Morten said the same thing the other day. He doesn't believe I will ever recover and be able to have a normal life again. Honestly, I struggle to remember what life was really like before OCD. It has just taken over every aspect of my life. I also talked to my mentor about my suicidal thoughts and she asked me to make a list every week of reasons to live - I HAVE to come up with at least 3 every week. 

 

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