Today was way better than yesterday in terms of school. Started out my morning waking up at 6 am, drinking warm water with lemon, and taking my vitamins while getting ready. Listened to good music to calm my anxiety and get me in a positive mood. Got to school on time - of course - and started out with biology. I feared that my OCD would get in the way during this class, but thankfully it did not! I actually found this class really exciting. We had to draw out our own blood, centrifuge it and measure our hematocrit level (mine was 40%) and we did this as preparation for homework/a report. I am so used to this process from going to the doctors every week, so it gave me confidence, as a new girl, doing something so familiar to me. After that, we had Geography which seemed more History-based and was actually very interesting. My Geography teacher is also my history teacher, so makes sense.
Overall, better than yesterday and I am still motivated. However positive, this entire thing is still extremely challenging for me ( with OCD, Anxiety & Eating Disorder) OCD occurs whenever a window is opened or someone steps near a window or near me, or touches something I am about to touch, or touches me. Anxiety, Uhm, every situation so far. New people, new space, new everything! Eating Disorder - realising that I can't get through an entire day nor even half a day without eating - ugh! I packed a lunch for tomorrow, hoping I will be able to eat it while the others eat and with them - but honest thought right here and now - Might hide in the bathroom and eat it there or just throw it out.
difficult as it all it, I am happy with my decision to start school and soon I will be thriving so much I will be the girl showing up late in comfy socks with morning hair, eating whenever - not giving a single fuck!
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when I got home, I snacked on an Orange Candy Melon which was delisius. I chopped a lot of it up and threw it in the freezer for future snacks
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