I visited Ude-Bo (recovery) today. By the end of this month, I am no longer in the system and I will just be a "normal" person. I obviously still struggle with OCD and Anxiety, but it is manageable and now I am ready to be completely on my own. I will still visit UDe-Bo sometimes though. A lot of people who used to be there still visit, even years after. I miss living there sometimes. I miss that there is always someone around in case I need to talk or need guidance as to how to get through some things. I miss the comfort of knowing everyone in the building and feeling safe in a different way. But I also love being free and having my own place. I love the "normal" life and knowing that I made it out. I made it. All the trauma, all the shit I went through - I made it and I am now building a life for myself.
It is nice coming back to visit and everyone saying they are happy to see me and asking how I am and asking how school is going. I feel like I moved away from home and then visited my childhood home - my safety/comfort zone. Had some nice talks with a new friend today and was put in a really good mood. Put my foot down today and told someone who isn't good for me, to f off and never contact me again. That feels so good. Self-care at its best! I need people around me who respect me and who love me - someone I feel safe and comfortable with. I deserve that! (that has taken me a long time to admit)
When I got home this afternoon I was a mix of exhausted yet over-caffeinated - I was shaking! I am doing intermittent fasting, so I fast Wednesday and Saturday. Not eating and then 4-5 cups of coffee - Vibrate Mode On! Once I settled down I tidied up a bit, listened to some music, and read up on some exam stuff. My Biology/Geography/Chemistry exam is Tuesday - so I better prepare. I am off school this whole week and Monday, so I got time ♡
Hope everyone had a great day
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I love how they decorated for easter ♡
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