Yass! Yesterday I bought train tickets (with financial help from a friend) for my trip to Kolding and back on the 24th to celebrate Christmas Eve with my family - that being my grandad, sister & mum. Gives me so much serenity knowing that it is now taken care of. Grateful for that friend who helps out and supports me. After everything that has happened the past few weeks, months even.. It has just drained my energy to the core and if anything does not go according to plan I cannot have it - like my mental health and life is t risk. I need things to just be easy (easier), be planned, and go smooth the next while so I can recharge. When I am over-exposed to life and things that trigger me, my OCD automatically takes over as a survival mechanism but living with OCD is hell and it takes up all of my energy. If anything else then happens that drains me as well I am tapped out of energy - running on spare batteries for survival. I want to live and I need my energy, so when things fall into place and go as planned - I am forever grateful! Sorry, rant. Just needed to get that out of my system and hopefully, that gives you a better picture of how things are going right now and how fragile I currently am.
I did manage to make it to the gym today and it felt good! Had a lot of anxiety built up before I got there, but once I was inside it went away and I felt at home. I love the feeling in my body after a workout and I actually enjoy the soreness - makes me feel like I actually did something. I did have to take painkillers when I got home because the wound where my tooth was (had a tooth removed not long ago) started hurting a lot. I was told by my dentist that it could happen. For my breakfast, before going I made a diet Strawberry Shake with Collagen and Protein Powder - yummy!
No comments:
Post a Comment