(WORK IN PROGRESS)
About two years ago, I applied to get all the paperwork about me from social services and other files. For most people, childhood is made up of memories. Mine exists in over a thousand pages of social service reports, police notes, medical records, foster care documents, and school files. Some of it I remembered. Some of it I had never been told. This page is my attempt to put those pieces back together. I wanted to understand my background better and to use it to tell my story and better my mental health, finally dealing with my trauma, my life, and who I am. So here it is..
The Long Story
I was born on December 29th, 1992, at Haderslev Hospital. My mother, Pia, was 17, and my father, Tim, was 23. I was given the name Ditte Liv Sparrevohn, which I later changed to Isabella Jensen.
*Starting December 29, each year
1992 - 1993
(Age 0)
Residence: Søndergade, Vejen
(29.12.1992 - 01.05.1994)
(29.12.1992 - 01.05.1994)
This is my first registered address, though I think this might be either where my grandparents lived, nearer the back end of the alley. In my papers, it says that my mum left my dad 3 months after my birth because he was a violent drunk. When I was 1 month old, we were placed at a family shelter/women's shelter home for about 6 months. At 7 months old, I started in daycare, and Kirsten, my daycare mum, became a support to both my mum and me. I ended up being close with Kirsten till she died in 2012. What surprised me was that according to my papers, I was also placed at her home in foster care between 1993 and 1996.
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1993 - 1994
(Age 1)
Residence: Søndergade, Vejen
(29.12.1992 - 01.05.1994)
➔
Gilbjergvej, Vejen
(01.05.1994 - 26.07.1996)
Care & Education: Daycare (Kirsten)
I vaguely remember this place. I remember the backyard and the feeling of the grass on my toes - I wasn't a fan.
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1994 - 1995
(Age 2)
Residence: Gilbjergvej, Vejen (01.05.1994 - 26.07.1996)
Care & Education: Daycare (Kirsten)
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1995 - 1996
(Age 3)
Residence: Gilbjergvej, Vejen (01.05.1994 - 26.07.1996) ➔ Kløvervej, Kolding (26.07.1996 - 21.01.1998)
Care & Education: Daycare (Kirsten) ➔ Kindergarten
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1996 - 1997
(Age 4)
Residence: Kløvervej, Kolding (26.07.1996 - 21.01.1998)
Care & Education: Kindergarten
Care & Education: Kindergarten
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1997 - 1998
(Age 5)
Residence: Kløvervej, Kolding (26.07.1996 - 21.01.1998) ➔ Schjørringsvej, Kolding (21.01.1998 - 19.07.1999)
Care & Education: Kindergarten
Care & Education: Kindergarten
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1998 - 1999
(Age 6)
Residence: Schjørringsvej, Kolding (21.01.1998 - 19.07.1999) ➔ Damhusvej, Kolding (19.07.1999 - 17.12.2000)
Care & Education: Kindergarten Kindergarten Class/School Grade 0
Care & Education: Kindergarten Kindergarten Class/School Grade 0
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1999 - 2000
(Age 7)
Residence:Damhusvej, Kolding (19.07.1999 - 17.12.2000) ➔ Schjørringsvej, Kolding (17.12.2000 - 05.02.2001)
Care & Education: School Grade 0-1
Care & Education: School Grade 0-1
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2000 - 2001
(Age 8)
Schjørringsvej, Kolding (17.12.2000 - 05.02.2001) ➔ Damhusvej, Kolding (05.02.2001 - 18.12.2002)
Care & Education: School Grade 1-2
Care & Education: School Grade 1-2
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2001 - 2002
(Age 9)
Damhusvej, Kolding (05.02.2001 - 18.12.2002) ➔ Schjørringsvej, Kolding (18.12.2002 - 05.04.2004)
Care & Education: School Grade 2-3
Care & Education: School Grade 2-3
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2002 - 2003
(Age 10)
Schjørringsvej, Kolding (18.12.2002 - 05.04.2004)
Care & Education: School Grade 3-4
Care & Education: School Grade 3-4
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2003 - 2004
(Age 11)
Schjørringsvej, Kolding (18.12.2002 - 05.04.2004) ➔ Vestermarksvej, Jordrup (05.04.2002 - 01.02.2006)
Care & Education: School Grade 4-5
Care & Education: School Grade 4-5
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2004 - 2005
(Age 12)
Vestermarksvej, Jordrup (05.04.2002 - 01.02.2006)
Care & Education: School Grade 5-6
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2005 - 2006
(Age 13)
Vestermarksvej, Jordrup (05.04.2002 - 01.02.2006) ➔ Havegade, Lunderskov (01.02.2006 - 01.12.2006)
Care & Education: School Grade 6/7
Care & Education: School Grade 6/7
During December, especially the days leading up to Christmas, my mum started acting badly again. She and Lars were fighting all day, but it was the evenings that were worst - the quiet. She would stay in the bedroom, and the whole house would be silent, except for the dim light from the TV in the living room, where Lars and I would quietly eat our dinner. We stayed as quiet as possible, hoping she wouldn't start a fight. She would get upset if it seemed like we weren't fully attending to her mood. Lars even cooked for her as well and checked up on her, but she only communicated via a notepad that was on the kitchen table. Last time she did this was when she tried setting fire to the house, so my anxiety was through the roof when it was quiet. She managed to fake a happy face during Christmas Eve, when we had Lars' mum over from her care home and my grandparents as well. The day after, she went back to silent mode.
December 27th, she and Lars got in a massive fight. I was in my room, trying to stay quiet and invisible. I listened for hours, and then when it got a bit quiet, I went down to check on them. Lars was sitting on the dining chair, his white shirt covered in blood. I immediately asked if he was okay, and he said he was fine. It looked worse than it was; she "just scratched" him. They started fighting again, and when my mum broke a glass bottle and walked towards him, I went upstairs, decided that I definitely did not need to witness what was about to happen, and I was scared I could be her next target. I went to my room, got a little pre-packed bag with clothes, phone, and toothbrush. I took the back door out and ran as fast as I could, away from the house and into the dark. Since it was in the countryside, I didn't need to run far for there to be no more streetlights, and I decided to stay off the road to stay away from possible oncoming traffic and to not be as easily found, should they come look for me. I walked out onto a field with my arms stretched out to feel for possible electric fences. I could hear cows nearby, and I didn't want to accidentally walk full body into an electric fence. I got far away, enough to not be found, but close enough that I could still see the house lights in the distance. I called the emergency number and explained the situation, asking them to send someone to help, but they kept me on the phone for two hours, patching me through to the police department, fire department, and then eventually they all agreed to just send an ambulance. I sat on the frozen field till I could see the ambulance arrive at the house. I ran back to the house and walked in. It didn't seem like they had even noticed that I was gone. Lars didn't seem more hurt than when I left. My mum was on the sofa crying, telling the EMT guys that she was fine and she wanted them to leave - which they did. My mum got up after they left. She walked close by me and, in a cold, angry, low tone, said to me, "I will never forgive you for this." It sent chills down my spine, and I did not sleep at all that night. I was terrified for my life being in that house, with her.
December 27th, she and Lars got in a massive fight. I was in my room, trying to stay quiet and invisible. I listened for hours, and then when it got a bit quiet, I went down to check on them. Lars was sitting on the dining chair, his white shirt covered in blood. I immediately asked if he was okay, and he said he was fine. It looked worse than it was; she "just scratched" him. They started fighting again, and when my mum broke a glass bottle and walked towards him, I went upstairs, decided that I definitely did not need to witness what was about to happen, and I was scared I could be her next target. I went to my room, got a little pre-packed bag with clothes, phone, and toothbrush. I took the back door out and ran as fast as I could, away from the house and into the dark. Since it was in the countryside, I didn't need to run far for there to be no more streetlights, and I decided to stay off the road to stay away from possible oncoming traffic and to not be as easily found, should they come look for me. I walked out onto a field with my arms stretched out to feel for possible electric fences. I could hear cows nearby, and I didn't want to accidentally walk full body into an electric fence. I got far away, enough to not be found, but close enough that I could still see the house lights in the distance. I called the emergency number and explained the situation, asking them to send someone to help, but they kept me on the phone for two hours, patching me through to the police department, fire department, and then eventually they all agreed to just send an ambulance. I sat on the frozen field till I could see the ambulance arrive at the house. I ran back to the house and walked in. It didn't seem like they had even noticed that I was gone. Lars didn't seem more hurt than when I left. My mum was on the sofa crying, telling the EMT guys that she was fine and she wanted them to leave - which they did. My mum got up after they left. She walked close by me and, in a cold, angry, low tone, said to me, "I will never forgive you for this." It sent chills down my spine, and I did not sleep at all that night. I was terrified for my life being in that house, with her.
December 28th, my mum was quiet all day, and then suddenly she got in her car and drove away. Knowing she does this, I spent the morning packing a larger bag with clothes for a few days. I ran downstairs as soon as she had driven off. I set the bag down in front of Lars and asked him to drive me to my dad's, which was an hour's drive away. He agreed it would be best to get me away from all of this, so we started driving. Halfway there, my mum called Lars. He put her on speaker because he was driving and the things she said.. She was hysterical, shouting and saying he probably slept with me, that I was a slut, and that we didn't care about her. She kept saying random, weird things, and when he didn't respond the way she wanted, granted, he was actually very calm and polite still, she said she was just going to hang herself in the garage then. They hung up, and I told Lars to call someone to check up on her, because if she thinks he is close, she will do it, thinking he will save her. But she had no idea we were halfway to Horsens from Kolding. He called his best mate, who said he would go by and check on her. Lars dropped me off at my dad's house. I was greeted by two happy dogs, my two sisters, Fenja and Freja. My dad was out cold, probably from drugs or drinking, and his wife, Gitte, was at work.
A couple of hours later, I had finally calmed down a bit when my grandma called. She tells me that my mum is in intensive care after attempting to hang herself. She is in a medically induced coma because of the swelling in her neck. Of course, she and my grandma were both drunk, and they sounded like this was all just routine, and that it was practical for me to stay at my dad's.
A couple of hours later, I had finally calmed down a bit when my grandma called. She tells me that my mum is in intensive care after attempting to hang herself. She is in a medically induced coma because of the swelling in her neck. Of course, she and my grandma were both drunk, and they sounded like this was all just routine, and that it was practical for me to stay at my dad's.
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2006 - 2007
(Age 14)
Knudsbølvej, Jordrup (01.12.2006 - 26.01.2007) ➔ Gøhlmannsvej, Kolding (26.01.2007 - 01.08.2008)
Care & Education: School Grade 7/8 (6 months at Boarding School)
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2007 - 2008
(Age 15)
Gøhlmannsvej, Kolding (26.01.2007 - 01.08.2008) ➔ Kids Institution/Orphanage (01.08.2008 - 01.12.2008)
Care & Education: School Grade 8/9
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2008 - 2009
(Age 16)
Kids Institution/Orphanage (01.08.2008 - 01.12.2008) ➔ Gøhlmannsvej, Kolding (01.12.2008 - 01.04.2009)
Care & Education: School Grade 9/10
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2009 - 2010
(Age 17)
Gøhlmannsvej, Kolding (01.12.2008 - 01.04.2009) ➔ Jovavej, Kolding (01.04.2009 - 15.08.2009)
➔ Vejrupsgade, Kolding (15.08.2009 - 15.01.2011)
➔ Vejrupsgade, Kolding (15.08.2009 - 15.01.2011)
Care & Education: School Grade 10 & Gymnasiet (STX)
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2010 - 2011
(Age 18)
Vejrupsgade, Kolding (15.08.2009 - 15.01.2011) ➔ Skovvænget, Kolding (15.01.2011 - 01.07.2013)
Occupation: Gymnasiet (STX)
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2011 - 2012
(Age 19)
Skovvænget, Kolding (15.01.2011 - 01.07.2013)
Occupation: Sick Leave
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2012 - 2013
(Age 20)
Skovvænget, Kolding (15.01.2011 - 01.07.2013) ➔ Vesterbrogade, Kolding (01.07.2013 - 28.04.2014)
Occupation: Sick Leave
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2013 - 2014
(Age 21)
Vesterbrogade, Kolding (01.07.2013 - 28.04.2014) ➔ Kirkevej, Horsens (28.04.2014 - 20.09.2016)
Occupation: Sick Leave
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2014 - 2015
(Age 22)
Kirkevej, Horsens (28.04.2014 - 20.09.2016)
Kirkevej, Horsens (28.04.2014 - 20.09.2016)
Occupation: Sick Leave
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2015 - 2016
(Age 23)
Kirkevej, Horsens (28.04.2014 - 20.09.2016) ➔ Langmarksvej, Horsens (20.09.2016 - 15.08.2018)
Occupation: Blogger
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2016 - 2017
(Age 24)
Langmarksvej, Horsens (20.09.2016 - 15.08.2018)
Occupation: Blogger
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2017 - 2018
(Age 25)
Langmarksvej, Horsens (20.09.2016 - 15.08.2018) ➔ Recovery/Institution (OCD) (15.08.2018 - 01.06.2021)
Occupation: Sick Leave
My mental health at this point has declined rapidly. My OCD is out of control, and my case worker got me into this institution where young adults either live or get outpatient help with whatever their issues were (some had ADHD, Schizophrenia, Social Anxiety). I moved in, got a little apartment/room with a tea kitchen and my own bathroom. The top floor was for us who lived there, and the middle floor was the common areas, which we only had access to during the day on weekdays. There were pedagogues available to us during those days - who helped us with various things. My contact person helped me with OCD exposure therapy, helped prepare me for life after living here, and gave me acupuncture and EEG treatments. Other than my one-on-one with my contact person, I /and the others) also had to attend weekly scheduled things and activities (some practical, some fun).
My first month here was rough. Morten pretty much dropped me off, told me he started seeing someone, and that he no longer wanted contact with me. We've known each other since I was 10, and been together for years, so that was unexpected. That was my support system gone. Then I went on a get-to-know-each other trip with my contact person to a summer house, which was a place straight out of my OCD nightmares - creepy crawlies everywhere. Then we returned home, and exposure therapy and everyday life at my new home began.
To cope, I spent most of my free time online, live-streaming and drinking in secret. My health started to decline, but I kept going. I barely ate, frankly, because I couldn't afford it, and the meals we had together at recovery weren't always gluten-free, so I ended up having little or none. Eating in front of the others also became an issue, so I usually just took fruit back to my room.
Due to malnutrition and bowel issues, my doctor periodically had me on a feeding tube. Which is about as pleasant as it sounds.
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2018 - 2019
(Age 26)
Recovery/Institution (OCD) (15.08.2018 - 01.06.2021)
Occupation: Sick Leave
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2019 - 2020
(Age 27)
Recovery/Institution (OCD) (15.08.2018 - 01.06.2021)
Occupation: Sick Leave
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2020 - 2021
(Age 28)
Recovery/Institution (OCD) (15.08.2018 - 01.06.2021) ➔ Lilli Gyldenkildes Torv, Horsens (01.06.2021 - 01.03.2024)
Occupation: Blogger & Student (HF)
2021 - 2022
(Age 29)
Lilli Gyldenkildes Torv, Horsens (01.06.2021 - 01.03.2024)
Occupation: Blogger & Student (HF)
2022 - 2023
(Age 30)
Lilli Gyldenkildes Torv, Horsens (01.06.2021 - 01.03.2024)
Occupation: Blogger & Student (HF)
2023 - 2024
(Age 31)
Lilli Gyldenkildes Torv, Horsens (01.06.2021 - 01.03.2024) ➔ Current Address
Occupation: Blogger
2024 - 2025
(Age 32)
Current Address
Occupation: Blogger
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