I finally started reading Haunting Adeline by H.D. Carlton, and honestly, I can see why people talk about this book so much.

Before I picked it up, I knew it was controversial. Depending on where you look, people either absolutely love it or absolutely hate it. There doesn't seem to be much of a middle ground. That made me curious because I tend to enjoy books that make people feel strongly, whether that's in a good way or a bad way.

The story follows Adeline, a writer who moves into her grandmother's gothic mansion. As she settles into the house, she begins uncovering secrets from the past while also finding herself being watched by someone she doesn't know.

One thing I immediately noticed was the atmosphere. The book feels dark, unsettling, and tense from the beginning. There is always a feeling that something isn't quite right. Even during quieter moments, there's a sense that something is lurking in the background waiting to happen.

Adeline is an interesting character because she's far from perfect. She's stubborn, curious, and often makes decisions that left me shaking my head. At the same time, those flaws make her feel human. I found myself wanting to know what she would do next, even when I disagreed with her choices.

The book is definitely not for everyone. It contains themes and content that some readers may find disturbing, which is why I think it's important to check the trigger warnings before going in. Dark romance is one of those genres where knowing what you're getting into matters.

What surprised me most was that I wasn't just reading for the romance. I found myself becoming invested in the mystery surrounding the house and the history connected to Adeline's family. Those parts kept me turning the pages just as much as the relationship aspects of the story.

As someone who loves darker stories, crime dramas, and books that explore uncomfortable topics, I can understand why Haunting Adeline has developed such a dedicated fanbase. Whether people love it or hate it, it is certainly memorable.

For now, I'm still reading, so my opinion may change as I get further into the story. But one thing is certain: it has definitely kept me turning pages, and that's always a good sign.

Have you read Haunting Adeline? I'd love to know what you thought of it.

OCD and Personality Disorders

As promised in a previous post, I will go into a bit more detail about the whole therapy situation. 

A little while ago, the psychiatric team figured out why my OCD improves for a while and then comes back, so they did some tests, and I met the criteria for a personality disorder. Unfortunately, my OCD is taking up too much space right now for a psychologist to determine which personality disorder I have. The plan was for my OCD to get better, so a specialist would be able to determine which one it is, but since then, my physical health has massively declined - I struggle to walk at this point. So, a new plan, as I mentioned earlier. My physical health needs to improve, and then when I'm better, I will return to therapy. 

So how does a personality disorder actually affect OCD? 

OCD isn't just about the intrusive thoughts and compulsions themselves. Recovery also depends on how a person manages emotions, relationships, stress, self-image, and uncertainty. Personality Disorders can affect many of those areas, which means they can sometimes make OCD much harder to treat. For example, if someone struggles with emotional regulation, they may experience stress and anxiety much more intensely. Since anxiety often fuels OCD, this can make obsessions feel stronger and compulsions harder to resist.

Looking back, it makes a lot of sense why my OCD would improve for a while and then suddenly become much worse again. We were treating the OCD symptoms, but there may have been a deeper issue underneath that wasn't being addressed yet.

That doesn't mean recovery is impossible. If anything, it means there is finally another piece of the puzzle. Understanding what is really going on gives me a better chance of finding the right treatment and making lasting progress in the future.

 The Psychiatric Team is letting me go - For now 

I have been seeing my psychologist since June 2024 for my OCD, which has been good. During this time, the team at the psychiatric hospital has tested me and come to the conclusion that I also have a Personality Disorder - but they don't know which one yet. The plan was to start therapy to figure that part out, as it interferes with my OCD recovery. Basically, the Personality Disorder that has gone undiagnosed for years has kept my OCD very active, making it difficult to recover properly. I will try explaining that in a different post. 

Unfortunately, my physical health at this point is so poorly that I cannot continue with therapy, so now the focus is to keep taking my SSRIs and getting better in terms of physical health. I've created a 12-week exercise plan, and I'll also be receiving professional support to help me start getting outside and going for walks again. There's also some talk about physical therapy. Being bed-bound has made my physical health so much worse, and it will be tough rebuilding strength, but it will be worth it. Once my physical health is better, I will start seeing my therapist again and start group therapy for Personality Disorder, and a specialist will give me a proper, more specific diagnosis.