10 Comfort Films I Could Watch Forever - #1 Ghost World

I first watched Ghost World back in 2009 after borrowing it from my local library. I knew absolutely nothing about it. The cover caught my eye, I took it home, and I fell in love with it almost instantly.

Since then, I've probably watched it once or twice every month. Most people have a comfort film they return to every few years. Mine is Ghost World. It's become one of those films that feels like home.

It's difficult to explain why. The soundtrack is a huge part of it, but it's also the atmosphere, the quietness, and the way the story unfolds. It's not a film driven by action or big dramatic moments. Instead, it's built on awkward conversations, uncomfortable silences, and all the things happening between the lines. Every time I watch it, I notice something new.

As I've grown older, the film has grown with me.

When I first watched it as a teenager, I related to Enid because she never seemed to fit in anywhere. Watching it now in my thirties, I still understand Enid, but I also understand Rebecca's desire to build a life and move forward. And then there's Seymour, whose love of music and lack of self-worth make him one of the most quietly tragic characters in the film.

I don't think any of them are meant to be perfect. They're just lonely in different ways.

One of the reasons I love Ghost World so much is that it never tells you exactly what to think. It trusts its audience. If you watch it expecting constant plot twists, you might walk away wondering what everyone else sees in it. But if you pay attention to the small moments—the expressions, the pauses, the conversations that never quite say what they mean—there's an incredible amount beneath the surface.

There are still scenes that make me laugh no matter how many times I've seen them. Josh discovering the note left for him is comedy gold, and Seymour's complete discomfort in the adult shop never fails to make me smile. The humour feels awkward, human and wonderfully understated.

Then there's the ending.

It's one of those endings that people have debated for years. My own interpretation has always been that Enid gets on the bus because she can't cope with growing up. I see it as the moment she chooses to leave the world behind. Whether that's what the filmmakers intended or not almost doesn't matter. That's what the ending has always meant to me, and it's the scene that stays with me long after the credits roll.

Maybe that's why I keep coming back to Ghost World. It doesn't give me all the answers. It lets me bring my own experiences to it, and those experiences have changed over the years. The film hasn't changed, but I have.

For me, Ghost World isn't just a coming-of-age film. It's a film about loneliness, identity, friendship, and trying to find your place in a world that doesn't always make sense. It's subtle, melancholy, funny, and strangely comforting.

Seventeen years after I picked it up from a library shelf, it's still the film I reach for when I need to feel at home.

 

Been a bit achy all over today and just been fatigued, so had a quiet day in bed. Did, however, manage to call the number I was given yesterday about the physiotherapy. Talked to a guy who said he'd like to talk to my doctor, but he definitely thinks that at-home physiotherapy sounds possible for me. He'd call back in a few days when he's had a talk with my doctor - so that's good news! 

Other than that, I've just been playing the Sims, resting, and then I had dinner, which was this delicious chicken pasta salad made by Lasse's mum. 
The rest of the evening has been me struggling to stay awake for the boys, and now it is time for bed. 

Night lovelies xx

Today has been really good and productive. I had my meeting with Din Indgang. For anyone outside Denmark wondering what Din Indgang is, it's a free support service run by my local municipality. It's designed for people who need a little extra support in everyday life, whether that's because of mental health, chronic illness, disability, or other life challenges.

I have a support worker through Din Indgang who checks in with me once a week. Before our session, I go for a short walk - at the moment that's only around forty steps - and afterwards we have a one-hour video call where we talk about how I'm doing, the challenges I'm facing, and the small steps I'm taking towards recovery. It's not therapy in the traditional sense, and it's not medical treatment either. It's practical, person-centred support that helps me work towards becoming more independent while recognising that recovery doesn't happen overnight.

During my meeting, I asked whether they could help me access physiotherapy at home. Unfortunately, Din Indgang doesn't offer that service themselves, but they didn't just leave me there. They gave me the contact details for someone who should be able to point me in the right direction. It might seem like a small thing, but for me it feels like progress. Recovery isn't usually one big breakthrough. It's often a series of small steps, one phone call, one appointment, one conversation at a time. Today felt like one of those steps.

When Lasse got home from work, he helped his dad with some work, and then he played on the computer while O listened to Lights Out Audiobook (I've read it before). Loving that this isn't something Lasse would ever listen to on his own, but he does listen while I have it on - and I love his reactions to it! I asked him what he thinks of it, and he thinks it's dumb - says it is a lot to show your mental problems like that - both the writer and the reader. He cracks me up! 

Anyway, it's time for some The Boys and then sleep, night xx 

Today has been one of those days that feels much longer than twenty-four hours. This morning, a guy came to inspect the apartment. The decision to move was already made, so the inspection wasn't about whether I was staying or going, but it still felt like an emotional milestone. Thankfully, I didn't have to be there myself. Lasse went instead, which ended up being good, because I've been having a bit of an IBD flare-up. I am so grateful for Lasse helping out. 

Instead, I spent the day resting. The fatigue hit hard; I slept for quite a while, and I've been feeling feverish on and off. This evening, we all had osso buco goulash for dinner, which was delicious! I am really enjoying the homemade food; it feels like a luxury. 

Right now, I am sitting by my computer, blogging. I've got music playing in the background, an elderflower ice lolly beside me, and Lasse is playing Path of Exile. Very peaceful. 

In a little bit, we will watch The Boys, and then it is time for bed! We both need a good night's sleep as we were up early today, and Lasse has an early day of work tomorrow. 

Goodnight xx 

The past few days have been a whirlwind. For the past two years, I have been in survival mode. Between chronic illness and my mental health, I've reached a point where simply looking after myself and my home has often taken every ounce of energy I had. 

When you're trying to choose between having a shower, eating something, getting out of bed - cleaning an entire home, it doesn't always make the list. Slowly, my apartment has stopped feeling like home, and I haven't been able to keep up. I kept telling myself I'd get on top of it next week. Then next month. Then when I had more energy. Unfortunately, that day never seemed to arrive. 

There is something I've realised through all of this: I am incredibly bad at asking for help. 

Lasse has asked me more times than I can count if there was anything he could do to help. His family has as well. My best friend offered to help out. Yet I struggled to say yes. I worried about being a burden. I worried that I was asking too much. I kept thinking that if I just held on a little longer, I'd somehow find the energy to fix it. Instead, I exhausted myself trying to carry a weight that had become too heavy. 

Accepting help is something I've never been good at. It makes me feel uncomfortable. There's a part of me that still apologises for taking up space, even when the people around me have made it abundantly clear that they want to help. That's a difficult mindset to unlearn. 

On top of all that, the apartment suffered water damage. A leak from the washing machine. What started as a practical problem eventually became much bigger, and despite trying to manage the situation, it has become clear that my tenancy is coming to an end. As difficult as it is to admit, I understand why. A home needs looking after, and I'm simply not in a position to do that right now. Writing that makes me feel incredibly vulnerable because there is still so much shame attached to not coping. We live in a world where struggling is often mistaken for laziness, when in reality there were days where just walking across the room felt like an achievement. 

The truth is I wasn't living. I was surviving. My physical health has declined to the point where I am incredibly deconditioned. I spent far too much time sitting still because I simply didn't have the strength to do more. The less I could do, the harder everyday tasks became, and before I knew it, everything had snowballed. It isn't the life I want, so I have made the decision to move. 

I'll be staying with Lasse and his parents at their house while I search for somewhere new to live. Their kindness has honestly been overwhelming. They've welcomed me without hesitation, encouraged me to focus on resting and getting stronger, and reminded me that accepting help isn't something to be ashamed of. That has probably been the hardest lesson of all. I've spent most of my life believing I had to deal with everything on my own. Asking for help felt like failure. Accepting it felt worse. Maybe healing sometimes begins with letting other people carry a little of the weight. 

Sertraline and Aripiprazole

For a while now, I have been taking two medications: Sertraline and Aripiprazole. Since I often write about OCD and mental health on this blog, I thought I would share a little about why I take them and how they work together.

Sertraline is an SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor), which is one of the most common types of medication used to treat OCD. It works by increasing the amount of serotonin available in the brain, which can help reduce anxiety and make intrusive thoughts feel less overwhelming.

Many people with OCD are prescribed an SSRI as a first-line treatment, but sometimes an SSRI alone isn't enough. That's where Aripiprazole can come in.

Aripiprazole is an antipsychotic medication, but despite the name, it is used for many different conditions and at different doses. In OCD, it is sometimes prescribed alongside an SSRI when symptoms are particularly persistent or difficult to treat.

While Sertraline mainly works on serotonin, Aripiprazole affects several brain chemicals, including dopamine and serotonin. Researchers believe that this can help reduce the intensity of obsessive thoughts and improve the brain's ability to let go of certain thought patterns.

The easiest way to think about it is that Sertraline is doing the heavy lifting when it comes to treating the OCD itself, while Aripiprazole is there to give it a helping hand. Rather than replacing the SSRI, it is often added to boost its effectiveness.

Of course, medication is never a magic cure. OCD recovery still involves therapy, learning new coping strategies, and a lot of hard work. Medication can make that work more manageable, but it doesn't do the work for you. Medication often takes time to show its full effects, and finding the right treatment can involve a lot of patience. For now, I'm taking things one step at a time and hoping this combination will help me continue moving forward.

As always, this is simply my personal experience and not medical advice. Everyone responds differently to medication, and what works for one person may not work for another.

OCD and Personality Disorders

As promised in a previous post, I will go into a bit more detail about the whole therapy situation. 

A little while ago, the psychiatric team figured out why my OCD improves for a while and then comes back, so they did some tests, and I met the criteria for a personality disorder. Unfortunately, my OCD is taking up too much space right now for a psychologist to determine which personality disorder I have. The plan was for my OCD to get better, so a specialist would be able to determine which one it is, but since then, my physical health has massively declined - I struggle to walk at this point. So, a new plan, as I mentioned earlier. My physical health needs to improve, and then when I'm better, I will return to therapy. 

So how does a personality disorder actually affect OCD? 

OCD isn't just about the intrusive thoughts and compulsions themselves. Recovery also depends on how a person manages emotions, relationships, stress, self-image, and uncertainty. Personality Disorders can affect many of those areas, which means they can sometimes make OCD much harder to treat. For example, if someone struggles with emotional regulation, they may experience stress and anxiety much more intensely. Since anxiety often fuels OCD, this can make obsessions feel stronger and compulsions harder to resist.

Looking back, it makes a lot of sense why my OCD would improve for a while and then suddenly become much worse again. We were treating the OCD symptoms, but there may have been a deeper issue underneath that wasn't being addressed yet.

That doesn't mean recovery is impossible. If anything, it means there is finally another piece of the puzzle. Understanding what is really going on gives me a better chance of finding the right treatment and making lasting progress in the future.

 The Psychiatric Team is letting me go - For now 

I have been seeing my psychologist since June 2024 for my OCD, which has been good. During this time, the team at the psychiatric hospital has tested me and come to the conclusion that I also have a Personality Disorder - but they don't know which one yet. The plan was to start therapy to figure that part out, as it interferes with my OCD recovery. Basically, the Personality Disorder that has gone undiagnosed for years has kept my OCD very active, making it difficult to recover properly. I will try explaining that in a different post. 

Unfortunately, my physical health at this point is so poorly that I cannot continue with therapy, so now the focus is to keep taking my SSRIs and getting better in terms of physical health. I've created a 12-week exercise plan, and I'll also be receiving professional support to help me start getting outside and going for walks again. There's also some talk about physical therapy. Being bed-bound has made my physical health so much worse, and it will be tough rebuilding strength, but it will be worth it. Once my physical health is better, I will start seeing my therapist again and start group therapy for Personality Disorder, and a specialist will give me a proper, more specific diagnosis. 

Ha! The universe really said April Fool's. I ordered a notebook from Bog & Ide, and instead I got this book. Safe to say I wasn't expecting this. I talked to them, and they will send my notebook, but it will take a while because of the holidays, so I will wait again! They said to just keep this book, and when the lady I talked to laughed at the situation. She said I could keep the book or give it to a good cause. I am intrigued, so I might give it a read. 

 

A little self-care box ♡

 

Today I had a meeting with my new psychologist at 9am, and I actually made it to my appointment - this is something I struggle with, so I am proud of myself, and so was she. My old psychologist went on maternity leave, and my doctor at the hospital just got a new job, so new ones for me and a lot of changes. Previously, I have done therapy for OCD, but now they want to go in at a different angle, to get to the root of my OCD, so it doesn't just return again at full strength in a year. Whatever they wanna try - I am open to it! Also, they changed the aesthetics of the waiting area a bit since the last time I was there - I like it!

After my appointment, Lasse and I went for a drive and stopped by the water. I am absolutely loving this weather. When getting back home, I took a nap, then ordered in, and now I am just relaxing to some music. My medication is making me so drowsy and sleepy, so today took a lot of energy out of me, I did not have - but it was worth it!

 

The Plant!

(Insert for dramatic effect: Beethoven’s Symphony no. 5 in C Minor, Op. 67: I. Allegro con brio ♫)

I bought this fake plant online, and plants trigger my OCD - yes, even the fake ones (fear creepy crawlies will live in it). So I went through this whole thing where I unpacked it slowly in the shower, sprayed it with bug spray, and then my plan was to slowly move it to this spot in the picture. But I ended up doing it quickly, and I barely notice it when I enter the room - so well done, OCD for overreacting, and well done, medication for finally working. All in all - a great win for me! And personally, I reckon it looks really good! Rant over!

 

Today was a real struggle from the moment I got up. Definitely one of those days where I wanted to cancel, but I had a psychologist appointment, and I got off my arse to go to that. I also had packages to pick up and some grocery shopping to do. 

I made it through the day, but I had to take a lot of breaks to deal with anxiety. Today was my second appointment, and so far my body and mind are reacting a lot - I will do another post, getting into it. Just happy with myself that I got through today. Tomorrow will be better ♡ 

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Surgery Day ♡

 

Remember me being at the doctors due to abdominal pain? Well, my stool sample and blood work didn't show anything, so I have to get an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. Today I met with a doctor at the hospital about the procedures and got some reading material, along with some meds to take the days leading up to the procedures. Then we scheduled an appointment with an anaesthesiologist. Still in pain, and I am nervous about what it could be, but I would rather know than not know. Sorry, I'm not blogging much lately, I am just really unwell ♡

 

Christmas presents ♡ Along with a gift card and money for Hygge 

 

Happy Christmas! As you might have noticed, there hasn't been much Christmas on the blog, and that is simply because I haven't been in the mood this year - at least till Christmas Eve. Spent Christmas Eve with Lasse and his family at his parents' house. Best Christmas I have had in years! Lasse's mum knew I hadn't been in the mood and that I was having a tough time lately, so she overdid it a little with the decorations for me - which I love! They were all just really nice, and we all had a great time. It was me, Lasse, his parents, his brothers, and their partners, a toddler, two dogs, and my cat! Pure Hygge! ♡ They all go back today for a Christmas luncheon, but I am too exhausted, so staying home, cleaning, and indulging in a bit of self-care ♡

 

The police were here today. Apparently, a concerned neighbour called the police because they saw blood all over our living room floor. I actually saw two women out front half an hour earlier getting really close to the windows, but they saw me and left. Then the doorbell rang, and as I don't know anyone here who would just drop by, I didn't open. Heard the person ring other doorbells (intercom is right next to our window so we can hear it every time someone rings it elsewhere as well). I got curious so I walked out of the bedroom to see who it was, then I saw a police man standing by our window signing that I should open the door. Now, this has happened in places I've lived before - if the police can't get in they ring all the doorbells so they can enter the building. Didn't think they were here for me, but curious as I am, I opened the door and asked them what had happened - they were here for me! They explained the situation and I was like "oh! Yeah, that's just my cat, he has a tumour that sometimes bleeds a lot. I can go get him if you want?" and they said it wasn't necessary. I did thank them, though, for checking in and also said that it was nice of the neighbour to show concern. It could as easily have been something terrible. But it was not. Everyone is fine, and the cat is fine as well. I did mention this in a previous blog post, and there is just nothing we can do about it, other than clean up after it once it stops bleeding - which we do! We just allow it to stop before we start cleaning up after it. 

I laughed at the whole situation, and when the police left, I went into the bedroom where the cat was sleeping and kissed him all over. So much drama for tiny him ♡ Bless 

 

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