GoodieBox - January 2017

Snack for the Road!

I always eat at specific times during the day, to maintain a healthy diet/food intake it´s important not to skip meals - but can be hard to drag around a proper lunchbox when out and about. So I usually eat these other "bars" but they have a bit of gluten in them and are far from organic - they´re more meant for controlling calorie intake rather than actually being healthy. As I'm eating clean/raw these caught my eye a few days ago when I stopped at a petrol station to get a cup of tea. They contain fruits and nuts, so not overall extremely healthy, but they´re organic and as long as I don´t eat more than one they´re really not that bad. I like the taste, I like the level of energy they give me and how full I actually feel when eating one. I eat 2/3rd and then save the rest for a later snack if I'm out for a longer period of time. I could probably stop somewhere for food, but trouble is that I don´t know the ingredients they use and I don´t know the exact amount of calories it contains if say I get a gluten-free sandwich somewhere. Also these are just so easy to bring and fits in the pocket easily!!

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Psychiatrist & Germany

Today I started seeing a psychiatrist - or this was more like a pre interview to judge wether or not I need it and what should be expected from it if I do. I´ve been doing so great with my OCD and it is a daily battle, but the battle doesn't´t seem so exhausting anymore. When I was almost finished with therapy for my OCD, my psychologist told me that when we remove a mental illness that had this much control over my life, something else will come and take it´s place. Having a mental illness that controls your life is like an addiction, it becomes your best friend but in a bad way. I hated him so much for saying that because I felt like he was trying to destroy the hope for me to be healthy and actually get a life. Now I know that he wasn't trying to destroy my hopes and dreams, he was trying to save me from another let down, another thing that would eventually destroy me if I caught it too late. Over the past two years I started cutting myself - once or twice every 3rd month, when I needed release from all the OCD nonsense, when I needed to feel something physically instead of just mentally. Since I moved, my OCD has gotten so much better and it doesn't effect my life in the same way it used to. Unfortunately the psychiatrist was right. After my OCD has gotten better I get more easily frustrated with little things, it builds up and I get so angry/emotional/upset that I need to cut myself to calm down and to see clearer. I cut myself 2-3 times a week and I didn't see it as a problem at first - I'm not some depressed teen trying to get attention, I'm an adult who found a way to handle a feeling I couldn't control.. What could possibly be wrong with that right? 

I casually mentioned it to my mentor and she reacted just like everyone else would - concern! We´ve had meetings about it and honestly I thought the amount of attention it was given was just ridiculous. I could stop if I wanted, it was a choice, not a need.. I was so wrong.. 

It´s a need, it´s not healthy and I really do need help dealing with it. No one should be doing harmful things to one self and if you´re reading this and you´re hurting yourself - seek help, talk to someone. I will be seeing my psychiatrist weekly from the end of this month. sharing this with you all was so tough and I was scared to do so. Having to deal with this feels like a letdown, like I´ve somehow failed.. But I haven't. This will not define me, I will fight this and come out stronger on the other side!  I´ve already received a huge amount of support from the people who know and your support means the world to me - it makes it all easier to deal with ♡ Thank you! 

After 2.5 hours of "therapy" Morten and I decided to take a short trip to Germany, Harrislee to shop some beverages and few sweets - the sweets were for him 😉 Now I'm back home, just finished unpacking it all and relaxing a bit before bedtime. 

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STATE - Drink to Improve!

Enjoying tonight´s football game with a State Energy Drink!

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Sponsored by STATE

Happy New Year!!! ♡

Happy New Year! I spend my new year´s eve with my bestest mate Morten at my place. Good, but healthy foods, champagne and fireworks - observed from the flat. I´ve never been much into the whole fireworks thing. It´s pretty from a distance but being too close makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. The whole night was just incredible. Started my day today with a 3 hour workout session - just because it´s January 1st, doesn't mean it´s an excuse to be lazy and unhealthy!

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